My new camera (thanks to my brilliant friends) is now bought and paid for and on its way to J in Seattle, WA.

It will only arrive in Seattle on 05/04/2006, but that's pretty darn fast. Then it will be unboxed and repacked to make it more streamlined and posty – to send to me over here in darkest Africa.

Hopefully, J will remember to mark it as a "gift" (which it is!) so that I do not have to pay hectic customs duties on it.

I'm still trying not to get too excited… just in case.

Sorting the stuff in my storage unit out – trying to sell it off before the end of the month! If i can do that, then i get my monthly payment, plus my deposit, back!

Had a short, but fun ride on Dex this morning, after walking the pooches down at the river (a little later than normal – i'm having trouble getting out of bed these days). Off to ride Ex, with J and Alchemy, this afternoon. It's pretty darn warm out there (29C at present).

As another wave of depression washes over me, I attempt to find the silver lining in things.

My friend C is "gatvol" as we say here with the way things are going in her life and she's just had enough. I just wish I could do something to help, but there really isn't anything useful.

I know that J (who's sister is giving her major issues at work) is looking for "alternate working arrangements" and would (after an initial period of adjustment that everyone goes through when working for C) be a "good fit" for C's business. Plus, J is doing a "Business Management" course and oculd most probably help C out a great deal in that respect. J is too shy/nervous/scared/wary to approach C directly, so I have been asked to intervene. Can't say I'm any less wary, but C is my friend (which is why _I_ can never work for her again) and I know that if I just put the idea to her in a precise, clear way, she will be able to get positive about things. She is so low at the moment. She called me, needing to vent a little, and i was in tears when she put the phone down eventually. It's so hard to hear a friend in such anguish. Especially someone as strong and vibrant and (usually) positive as C.  I'll give her some time to chill, and then I will bring up J in conversation.

I have had some lovely rides this week: on Dex and Catch and Ex… I've been really good about getting my ass out of bed in the mornings and not making silly excuses. My mantra these days is "Don't Be Lazy, Don't Be Scared" – so I'm going all out. Well, that's when I'm on an upswing, anyway. I struggle a little bit more when I'm headed on a downward phase.

Took the pooches for a walk on Noordhoek beach this morning – they had a blast! Molly was so excited in the change in scenery. She kept coming back to me and just jumping around and wagging her tail and grinning at me, before racing off to bowl Macky over and find something to roll in. Macky is totally pooped. Mishka had a good sniff and then mostly spent her time walking at my side (as she does) and giving me a good big doggie grin and waiting for her head pats. My dogs are so awesome. I love them so much.

Sunday already – a whole weekend nearly over. Next weekend I am housesitting (again) for S, then the next weekend (Easter) I housesit for C, and then again for S the NEXT weekend, for a week. So i'm going to be pretty tired. I always miss my home and animals so much when i'm away for more than 2 days.  At least C will be paying me. S doesn't pay as she is family

Brother paid my bills again this month. This is really getting bad. I feel so totally sick about asking him. He's been so good to me. But I need to find some sort of income now, to cover my expenses. It's not a lot, but it's still a significant sum when added to his own bills. He can't keep it up for too long, and I don't want to be such a damn burden all the time.

I was hoping to win the lotto – but that of course is a total dream. As usual, i was off the winning numbers by one. (numbers would be 3 10 14 or whatever, and i chose 4 11 and 15…. it happens a lot)

So anyway. I'm hanging in there. Still waiting on my stupendously cool Nikon D50 to be delivered. If it's been bought yet. Trying so hard to just chill and wait. But it's difficult.  I am so grateful.

*sigh*

 tea time

It’s actually quite difficult to explain to someone, politely, that you are quite mad.

(you, not them)(i don’t know if that was clear in my sentence)(i hope it was)

Went for a job interview today – they must be desperate. I made some “requests” about my working conditions (explained why in detail… i’m like that) and hours and stuff. I was meant to hear this afternoon if i was in with a chance or not. No word so far (being 8:30pm now… i’m not expecting to hear anything tonight) but strangely enough i’m happy either way. As much as i would like a stable income and all that comes with it – I also like my current “life” and the opportunities that i can now see ahead of me (thanks to my awesome friends and my new Nikon D50, that I will _eventually_ get).

Had a lovely ride on Catch this afternoon – just a slow trot up the hill and then lots of pauses to eat grass on the way back down the other side… – and a nice relaxed walk with T and Chief, with Big Ex yesterday afternoon. Ex is starting to bond with me a little more now. It’s a good feeling. Hopefully this means no more biting me in the face.

Went to K’s salon, after the interview, to be pampered and preened with a facial (which included a lovely massage of my neck and shoulders and arms). We had a nice natter – was so good to speak to her again. Can’t believe she’s married! That’s freaky. And S is engaged too! All my friends from school, married or getting there. I can’t say i’m desperate for it, but if they are lucky enough to find that special someone… Good on them! A is engaged too, to The Girl. I’m totally fine with that. I wish him (and her) luck. If it was meant to be… then it will be.

So now I wait…

I’m trying desperately to remain calm about the whole camera thing. I don’t want to get my hopes up again and have them smushed. Can’t take much more of that. I will celebrate when the camera is in my hot sticky dirty paws. until then… deep breathing and counting backwards and being all nonchalant…

I’m still blown away by the generosity of people – especially people who have never even met me in person! (only one donator has… ) There really are good people out there… it’s something to keep in mind when you meet the bad people and nothing goes right.

Congratulations to the Bloggies winners of 2006! I always find new and interesting blogs to read when i check out the award pages! Tokyo Girl is my latest find (see the link in the blogroll) and i like it.

Tired. Showered. Drinking Tea.

*wave*

night.

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